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Joke of the Day
"If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents."
Next Joke
"I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: ""What do you do at a red light?"" Me: ""I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."""
"If it was the Well Constructed Tower of Pisa, no one would give a shit."
"I want this guy to teach me to fish, but he keeps handing me lemons."
"Think of this election like turning on a racetrack You do have two decisions but it probably won't be right."
"cop: the perp was found with red paint on his fingers, so i guess you could say he was caught.. *looks at camera* why is there a camera here"
"What happens if you feed Link some Speed? .... you get a Hyperlink ..."
"I prefer to date a man after I see how well he treats his wife."
"What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman."
"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Nah, I'm just kidding. He hasn't opened it yet."