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Joke of the Day

"cop: the perp was found with red paint on his fingers, so i guess you could say he was caught.. *looks at camera* why is there a camera here"

"Thought of a Chuck Norris joke today. This user no longer exists."

"Never trust a fortune teller buying more than 1 lottery ticket."

"Typical Kanye West If Kanye West would become a president wouldn't we all be living in Wild West?"

"What do you call an article written about a dead astronaut? An *orbit*-tuary!"

"I was astonished to learn that the meat in Subway was slaughtered in a traditional Muslim way. I mean how the fuck do they fit a rucksack on a cow?"

"What did the underscore say when he got up to leave? Gotta Dash!"

"Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs."

"Raped by a canadian A woman called the police saying she was raped by a canadian, the policeman asked how she knew he was canadian. She said he said sorry after."

"What does a mexican Highlander say? ""THERE CAN BE ONLY JUAN!"""