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Joke of the Day

"""You're either going to love me or hate me."" - someone you will definitely hate"

"My friend says he needs to get hydrated immediately. Well, water you waiting for?!"

"The best free drug is being super, super tired and then lying down."

"Wishing Charlie Sheen a full recovery from his addiction to awesome fun."

"Why did Hitler not mind being on the naughty list? He needed more coal anyway."

"""Have you tried turning her off and then on again?"" -- Sexual Tech Support"

"Why does #BLM make so many spelling mistakes? Because they got the whites out."

"As an only child with a pet cat that bullied me, the pool cleaning robot was my closest friend."

"knock knock who's it? omelet. omelet who? am late, open the door."

"What do a walrus and a zip-lock bag have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."