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Joke of the Day

"What is it called when a duck kills another duck? Quack on quack crime."

"What did the pervert say to the Sex Detective? I'm sorry officer I didn't know this was your jurisdicktion. I heard this on a movie years ago, can anyone guess which one it was?"

"I asked my secretary if she new the difference between a blow job and lunch she said no, so I offer to take her out to ""lunch""."

"I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape. I should get a new keyboard."

"I'm not ashamed to say that when I saw everyone was getting these new ""selfie sticks"" for Xmas I thought it was some new fantastic deodorant"

"Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents."

"What does a Native American Biologist live in? ATP"

"What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window."

"My dad put snowballs in the blender I miss snowballs he was a great cat"

"What do methheads and Mormons have in common? They both ride bikes and go on missions."