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Joke of the Day

"I'm not ashamed to say that when I saw everyone was getting these new ""selfie sticks"" for Xmas I thought it was some new fantastic deodorant"

"Why doesn't anyone in [insert nations capital] use the toilet in the morning? So they have something to do at night."

"If u ask me to baby sit 3 and at d end of d day can find only 1, dat is not a reflection on me as a babysitter.i was nevr gud at maths"

"The Great Spam Recycler"

"I just donated some money to the maintainers of a Linux distribution derived from Red Hat \*tips fedora\*"

"*puts on sports bra* Well, that's enough exercise for today..."

"How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl+S"

"What's black and white and red allover? My dalmatian after being hit by a car"

"Guess who I ran into when I went to get my glasses. Everybody"

"I ran over a child who was on his way to band practice carrying his cymbals. I'll never forget that horrible sound as I rolled past his motionless corpse. Ba dum tiss"