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Joke of the Day
"What did the monster say to his psychiatrist? 'I feel abominable.'"
Next Joke
"If women could change one thing about the penis it would be the man."
"Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person."
"Ladies don't pass gas. We just let it bubble up inside until it bursts out in the form of nonstop chatter about some chick we hate at work."
"4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths."
"We're working on saving our second million. The first one didn't go so well."
"I wish there was a way to musically tell someone to pour sugar on you but there isn't"
"A hipster walks into a bar... and says ""This place sucks now, it used to be better before all the hipsters took over."""
"Interviewer: says here you have a military background Me [getting out my phone]: yeah but I changed to a picture of my dog eating spaghetti"
"Did you hear about the constipated math teacher? He had to work it out with a pencil."