67948

Joke of the Day

"It may be illegal to steal kitchen utensils, but what can I say? I'm a whisk taker"

"What do you call A man doing Laundry? Non-existent"

"Just got home to find the doors ripped off and everything gone. What kind of bastard could do that to my chocolate advent calendar?"

"With all this uranium on Reddit, we should remember not to swallow any. You'll get atomic ache"

"Old bankers never die... ...They just lose interest."

"Our school should start a calculus club We would all derive fun from it"

"If your name is spelled Duhniayle, don't hate me when I mispronounce it. Hate your parents & their ridiculous spelling decisions."

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? They weren't born yesterday."

"Kids are like doughnuts. Sweet and yummy but more than one, maybe two, and you're like, ""What the hell have I done?"""

"What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves? I expect to Potter-own 'em."