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Joke of the Day

"Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew? All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ash."

"What did the barber say to the Potato? ""You've got eyes on the back of your head!"""

"What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? Thrown out of the petting zoo"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Sent back if it's not hot enough."

"I wanna get HAMMERED tonight. Seriously? Yeah, drunk as hell, bro. Riiight. Of course, of course. *quietly slides hammer back into sleeve*"

"Why did the Turkey join the band? because he had two Drumsticks."

"Its been almost ten years so I feel I can make this joke now. What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching? Oh, Phuket!"

"You can't make me believe there's a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers."

"It's so awkward when a man texts you to come over and you have to pretend like you weren't already inside their house."

"Ma'am, your son is dead. Why, what happened, officer? He wasn't white and that wasn't right, we found he was black, and that was whack, so we shot him in the back."