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Joke of the Day

"Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew? All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ash."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""We don't serve mushrooms here!"" So the mushroom says, ""Hey come on, I'm a fungi!"""

"im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason"

"What do politicians and diapers have in common? Both need to be changed for the same reason."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, blocking the tv and getting him shot on Call of Duty."

"canadians apologize a lot but i've never heard an apology for canadian bacon. just once i'd like a ""here's your ham. sorry."""

"One of the perks of being a woman is that no one can ever surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom."

"I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass."

"Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread."

"June Bugs are like College Dropouts They sleep all day, they party at night, and after a month, you don't see them anymore.."