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Joke of the Day

"So I made a Guardians of the Galaxy themed soft drink. I call it Groot beer."

"They say I have a drinking problem. All I have been trying to do is drain the liquor down the toilet. Through my body."

"What do you call a berry with a sore throat? A raspberry!"

"Last night, I dreamt I slept with a co-worker. (sfw) It was just as I imagined...."

"Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Actually agents will screw in just about anything."

"No body What do you call a man with no body and a nose? Nobody knows!"

"We've run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops."

"Why did the goal post get angry? Because the bar was rattled!"

"Why are all Satanists trypophobic? They're grossed out by Holy things."

"[Russian class] Um, why did I fail this test? Teacher: You just wrote in English and added ""ski"" to the end of the words... I knowski."