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Joke of the Day
"So I made a Guardians of the Galaxy themed soft drink. I call it Groot beer."
Next Joke
"How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles."
"Why does the disinterested Italian man have perfect skin? Because he's aloof-a"
"I'm thinking of re-releasing my old tweets in 3D."
"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped prison? He was a small medium at large."
"At this point, a phone book is just a list of people who recently died in their homes before cancelling their landline."
"What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair? Cancer"
"What does 83 year old pussy taste like? Depends"
"*comes home from work *wife jumps in my arms *sees I'm crying wife: Why are you crying? me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack"
"So Rene points to Gorgias in the schoolyard and says, ""you're a stupid solipsist..."". ...and Gorgias says, ""I know you are but what I am."""