189567
Joke of the Day
"ME: My New Year's resolution is to eat less WIFE: Good! ME: (very, very quietly) ...vegetables."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull meat out."
"Just discovered that I'm willing to drive 35mph over the speed limit to prevent a PT Cruiser from passing me."
"Is it possible to be bored to death? That all depends on the drill."
"I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am... I'm not really a mourning person."
"When I'm bored, I like to hold wedding ceremonies for my kitchen utensils. ""I now pronounce you pan and knife."""
"Did you hear that Tropicana funded the Nazi campaign? They made Jews from concentrate."
"Double cheeseburgers don't make you fat, eating them does."
"Cops are raiding Justin Bieber's house looking for eggs. Seriously. Eggs. I can't make this shit up. This is why other countries hate us."
"What do you call a black guy that visits r/jokes regularly ? A masochist"