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Joke of the Day

"*boyfriend and girlfriend in shower* Girl: do bad things to me babe Boy: *flicks shampoo in her eyes and trips her over*"

"Did you hear about the kind and humble Jew that donated a lot of money to charity? Neither did I."

"Who wins in a race to San Francisco, the lesbian couple or the gay couple? The lesbians. They get there lickity split while the gays are still packin it in!"

"How many non-binary gender-fluent people does it take to change an LED lightbulb? DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY LIGHTBULB?"

"Watching people try to find a lost car in a parking lot is oddly soothing"

"What does a teenage southern girl say while having sex? Get off me Daddy! You're crushing my cigarettes!"

"I used to have a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic ocean with the Titanic? About halfway. ^^I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out..."

"I have a Love/hate relationship with slashes..."

"St. Valentine's day Two blondes chat: ""What you gonna do on St. Valentine's day?"" ""What day is it?"" ""Friday."" ""Shepherd's Pie."""