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Joke of the Day

"St. Valentine's day Two blondes chat: ""What you gonna do on St. Valentine's day?"" ""What day is it?"" ""Friday."" ""Shepherd's Pie."""

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"A billionaire, a clown, and a presidential candidate walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""How's it going, Donald?"""

"What's the generic for Viagra? Mycoxafloppin"

"What did the palestinians give Yasser Arafat when he died? A 21 stone salute!"

"I appreciate it when someone tells me to just ""get over it"" when I'm depressed. It gives me a chance to exercise my grave digging skills."

"Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don't you marry her? Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient."

"Q: What does a cat sleep on? A: A caterpillow."

"if your grave doesnt say ""rest in peace"" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war"

"When asked why he wouldn't upgrade his operating system to Windows 8... Arnold Schwarzenegger replied: 'Windows 8, never! I still love Vista baby'..."