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Joke of the Day
"Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course!"
Next Joke
"An ostrich commits grand heresy against the empire. He is promptly ostrichized. No? ok."
"There once was a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray... He is now a seasoned veteran."
"[alternate reality] [dogs walking their humans on leashes] dog1: have u heard of upman? dog2: whats upman? dog1: not much man whats up w/ u?"
"Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming ""LIE TO ME""!"
"You may like to add a tag to your YouTube video. That tag? Albert Einstein."
"No clean Tupperware today, so I brought my yogurt to work tied up in a condom. No longer allowed to use the employee fridge."
"My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they are more brave than I am."
"You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning."
"Trainer: have you been sticking to your diet? Me: *tries to mumble yes but a chicken wing falls out of my mouth*"