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Joke of the Day

"I'm meeting a man I really like for drinks. If I play my cards right, he'll be deleting my number in a few hours."

"If Romney wins I will punch a basket of newborn kittens one by one. Do you want that, America? Do you want kittens to get punched?"

"How does an engineer screw a light-bulb? He holds the light-bulb over the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb One American to hire a Mexican to change the bulb and other 323.99 million to complain about outsiders stealing their jobs"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on me"

"It's all shits and giggles... Until someone giggles and shits."

"Why doesn't Jesus like M&Ms? They keep falling through. If that's not offensive enough, replace it with black Jesus and skittles."

"Did you hear about the African who loved Monday Mornings? He was a Monday morning kinda Gueye."

"What were the Virgin Islands called, after Chuck Norris visited them? The Islands"