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Joke of the Day

"The doctor gave a man six months to live. And when he couldn't pay his bills, he gave him six more."

"What do you call someone who gets high fast? A speed weeder."

"""Full bath?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Double beds?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Pool?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Maid service?"" ""Yes sir"" ""WIFI?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Kids, I found a campsite!"""

"Americans are getting stronger Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it."

"What is a water bottle's favorite game to play? Follow the litre."

"I really enjoy my morning expresso... ... it's always esploding with flavour."

"Was at a party the other day, there was a guitar there. I picked it up and someone asked if I could play wonderwall I said maybe"

"At 4am I'm pretty sure it's either too early or too late to start drinking. But if the vodka is in my cheerios, it's technically breakfast."

"What do you call a hypocritical member of the church of Latter Day Saints? an oxy-mormon. or, all of them."

"My all time favourite joke. Apologies to 99% of you. What's big and white and sits in a tree? A fridge. What's big and white and blue and sits in a tree? A fridge wearing jeans."