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Joke of the Day

"The doctor gave a man six months to live. And when he couldn't pay his bills, he gave him six more."

"There's going to be a Fast and Furious cameo on Walking Dead Paul, walker"

"What's the best way to see yesterday's front page ? 9GAG"

"Did you hear about the suicide bomber? His career ended just as it was beginning to blow up..."

"I lost my mood ring last night... I'm not sure how I feel about that"

"Classroom Nerd (In a high school class room) Girl: Do you see that F@#$ING nerd over there. Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day. Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a pimp"

"[How the rap feud started] Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party? 2pac: sure, no biggie Biggie[eavesdropping]: [wipes tears]"

"Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me, because it's comfortable... Who cares if you can see my balls?"

"if you want a woman to settle down with you be a cat"

"You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking."