189308

Joke of the Day

"Why can't you fight an accountant ? They'll always out number you!"

"Why didn't the rock make it to work today? He was stoned"

"Nothing is creepier than driving next to someone on the highway at the exact same speed."

"What kind of gum do bees chew? BUMBLEGUM. Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not."

"Happy Fourtho de Mayo."

"I was gonna put on my watch. But I didn't have the time."

"What do you call an old, dead, bloodsucking leech? Margaret Thatcher"

"What's a pedophile's favorite food? I'm not sure, I only watch the children eat."

"After my grandfather's funeral... I scattered his remains all over my back garden. Which was horrible, because he hadn't been cremated."

"Yo mama so fat.. ...she took one selfie and her brand new phone said ""Insufficient storage""."