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Joke of the Day

"It's dumb for me to spend money on porn or sex... ... that's a lot of money wasted on 3 and a half minutes."

"You wanna know what sucks about being single? Nothing. You gotta use your hands now."

"owl friend Today, my owl buddy told me he was getting married. I replied 'you twit, to who?'"

"""Let's go around the room & name our biggest fears"" SUPERMAN: Kryptonite BATMAN: Bats MARIO: When a turtle slowly walks in my direction"

"My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess. So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French."

"Psychedelic Playthings... So I should probably stop covering my child's toys in LSD and leaving them out... ... I've heard they can be a trip hazard."

"Why are bears so hairy ? They don't have salons in the jungle !"

"I hate being bi-polar. It's AWESOME!"

"I would make a joke about Mexicans But they already are one...."

"what's black and white and altogether catchy? Ebony and ivory."