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Joke of the Day
"'Hit me with your pet shark' #RuinAn80sSong"
Next Joke
"Need tips on making something look like an accident."
"Men are like soap operas. They're fun to watch but don't believe everything you hear."
"When someone asks me, ""Is this seat saved?"" I like to say ""No, but we're still praying for it"" and I laugh because chairs are like, dead."
"What do you call a midget with Down Syndrome? you call him a little slow"
"Don't make a mountain out of a molehill Do it with mashed potatoes, then play keyboard for the aliens ... I think my cough medicine expired"
"The last time people got so upset over a cup.. It involved two girls."
"Donald Trump put out an ad that said, ""I can make you a millionaire in three months"" with one small caveat... Billionaires only."
"Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn't mean I'm getting old, right? Means I'm turning into a werewolf! Right?"
"I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn't tear away .."