184712

Joke of the Day

"China's rise is terrifying: look at this list of casualties from Chinese military interventions over the last three decades http://i.imgur.com/WFsyTn8.png"

"My local museum is trying to raise money by setting up a dinosaur fossil display. How will it work?Remains to be seen."

"Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money? In the Piggy bank"

"Why didn't Johnny Depp get an Oscar nod for Black Mass? The nominee pool was Whitey-nough already"

"How do you know a vocalist is at your door? She can't find the key and doesn't know where to come in."

"we should be using all the time technology frees up to expand language, not shorten it. instead of 'prolly' try 'probababably.'"

"My then 7 yo son came up with this one. Warning: NSFL (I think. This is /r/Jokes, so...) Knock knock *Who's there?* Ala *Ala who?* Ala oo akbar!!! Bkhkhkhhhhhhhh!!! (explosion sound) :P"

"Life is what happens when you're busy choosing a filter for what already happened in life."

"""hey mister can i pet your dog?"" ""sure kid"" ""what kind is he?"" ""that there's a pure beef vienna son careful don't get mustard on your shirt"""

"Difference between computers and woman. I have no problem turning on a computer."