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Joke of the Day

"""Good timing, Ke$ha"" I say as her song starts playing on the radio and I turn on the vacuum cleaner."

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"Every Olympic event should include one average person competing for reference."
"Girls at parties are like parking spaces, if you're late all the good ones are gone, So when nobody's looking you stick it in the disabled one...."
"What do you call two Mexicans fighting one another Juan on Juan"
"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!! (someone date me please)"
"My idea of responsibility is plugging my phone in at mid-day"
"Getting grey hair hurts less when you say you're sprouting tinsel instead."
"I need to print some my Facebook friends' status updates on toilet paper so I can wipe my bum with them."
"1. Invite snowmen into your conference room. 2. Turn up heat. 3. Negotiate on YOUR terms."
"Happy birthday to rapper Pitbull who is 34 today, or 238 in dog years for all the other Pitbulls."
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