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Joke of the Day
"My grandpa used to say that dating was like doing laundry. Never mix the whites with the colors."
Next Joke
"What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time? tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))"
"me as a realtor: This house does include a crawl space. It's probably full of bones already, but you can always add more bones yourself."
"3 legged Dog A 3 legged dog walks into an old western salon, looks around, and says ""I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."""
"I just heard because of the government shutdown government archeologists are working with a skeleton crew."
"What do you call an alpacca that screams when it sees fire? A smoke aLaama."
"What do you call an angry psychiatrist? Therapissed."
"Hey girl, do your breasts have an agent? 'Cuz I'd like to handle them."
"[somebody steals my car] it's only metal. the important thing is no one was hurt [somebody steals my tweet] MAY VULTURES FEAST ON YOUR EYES"
"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the fresh prints."