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Joke of the Day
"Well well well... looks like someone put on some weight again. ~ my pants right now"
Next Joke
"Yes I am that gift that keeps on giving most people the finger."
"What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)"
"How do you react when looking in the mirror? You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar."
"[A field] *An elderly Louie Pasteur and I sit among the clover, I hold a shotgun* Me: It's time to put you out to pasture. *Cocks shotgun*"
"What did the eye say to the other eye? Something smells between us."
"My friend lives in Colorado and wanted to start growing weed on his cow farm. I told him it wasn't a good idea. The steaks would be too high."
"*boyfriend and girlfriend in shower* Girl: do bad things to me babe Boy: *flicks shampoo in her eyes and trips her over*"
"I bet the worst thing about being abducted is the whole country knows your real weight."
"What is the definition of a menstrual period ? A bloody waste of fucking time."