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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you forgot to use mouthwash, and it kills an otherwise pleasant evening? A ""no scope"""

"My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it. She's gonna love this pack of playing cards."

"Why are vegetarians good in giving head? Because they are used to eating nuts!"

"Being an adult is like being a Quentin Tarantino movie: it starts out real cool, there's lots of cursing, it's very confusing, everyone dies"

"What kind of meat does the Pope eat? Nun"

"Before cell phones and texting, I used to get pulled over a lot for playing solitaire with a physical deck of cards while I was driving"

"Ooo! The morning weather girl... Come on baby, give daddy the five day forecast."

"""I can closely relate to the LGBT community, as my own child is a man trapped in a woman's body ..."" Fortunately for him, he'll be born next February."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye-deer (no idear) ... What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?"

"What's a bee-line ? The shortest distance between two buzz-stops !"