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Joke of the Day

"""I can closely relate to the LGBT community, as my own child is a man trapped in a woman's body ..."" Fortunately for him, he'll be born next February."

"Why does the Mexican guy take xanax? For hispanic attacks Edit: Happy Cinco de Mayo"

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. Everyone I told swore they wouldn't tell anyone else."

"Once upon a time, there was a Mexican family... that had only Juan kid."

"What's the name of West Virginia's version of Winnie the Pooh? Gummy Bear"

"I'm starting a support group for people who think they are mortgages. The most important thing is for them to realize that they are not a loan."

"Is your dad's name Craftsman? Because you're a ratchet that's very easy to replace"

"So I'm not allowed near petting zoos... .. Or as I prefer to call them, heavy petting zoos."

"""This undercooked pasta is an absolute car crash"" What do you mean? ""It's all denty"""

"I love my cats so much, I love that I get to have these two tiny killing machines cuddled up in bed with me"