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Joke of the Day
"I was worried my circle jerk wouldn't go as planned... but in the end everyone came together."
Next Joke
"If you don't think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you're probably the boss"
"I tried to give a motivation: Backfired So this friend of mine broke up with his long term girl friend.I told him "" to hang in there""and he literally hanged himself. Was that a dick motivation?"
"How many men escaped the destruction of Sodom? A Lot."
"Mom: Why are you eating my flowers? Me: I'm gonna be young FOREVER! Mom: How? Me: Duh, from the stem cells. Mom: I'm worried about you."
"I will name my kid Pluto When he grow up, he will ask me, ""Dad, did you name me after a planet?"". And i will be like, ""No:("""
"We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight."
"What's a dog's favorite chip? Ruffles :)"
"Our kids lost all the Monopoly pieces so we use a cigarette butt, a high-heeled shoe, a rotten molar, and a loaded handgun."
"""...and it looks like you spent $80,000 on alcohol this year?"" - my tax guy"