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Joke of the Day

"[At restaurant] I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! But I'm on a diet so... [To waiter] Do you have diet horse?"

"There's no point to a dull knife."

"Cat with 16 lives There was a cat with 16 lives. It was run over by a 4x4 and it died."

"Why can't pirates finish the alphabet? because they get lost at C!"

"I can't believe I gave him my whole heart and he just shit on it like it was nothing, I hate mennnnever mind, he texted back. False alarm."

"A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel hanging from his crotch. Someone asks ""what is that on you?"" He responds, ""Arrr, I've no idea, but it's drivin' me nuts!"""

"""Most of Refugees are Doctors and Engineers"" -Barack Obama Thats right, they are all gynecologists"

"What will they now call hormonally-induced knockers on men? broosts"

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person... but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

"Did you hear about the zoo with only one dog? It was a shit zoo"