188499

Joke of the Day

"Why don't Brits like revolving doors? A: Because they can't hold it for the next person."

"Whats a printer's favorite sandwich? A paper jam sandwhich"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? Wouldn't you if your name was Hhuuuurrrnnnnggg."

"My son was thrown out of school today.... for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said ""son, that's three schools this year. Maybe teaching isn't for you"""

"What do married people do for fun? Get divorced."

"How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all your booze? You invite two of them."

"The thing I love most about dad jokes... ...is how they keep pushing the boundaries of humour father and father."

"Kid just asked ""why is it called 'flipping the bird'? Why not turtle? Flipping the Turtle."" I can't even answer that bc WHY NOT TURTLE?!"

"My wife just bought toilet paper from Costco which is great because later today we're having 3,000 people over to take a shit."

"What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's sexual orientation? Bicepsual."