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Joke of the Day

"The thing I love most about dad jokes... ...is how they keep pushing the boundaries of humour father and father."

"Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism? They are both unlike radicals."

"Guys, we should stop making fun of fat people. They have too much on their plates already."

"What do you call someone that steals shoes? A sneaker."

"If lovin' you is ROM... ...I don't wanna' read-write."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my cock in someones ass."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottsman? The Rolling Stones say ""Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"" And a Scottsman says ""Hey McLeod, get of me ewe!"""

"I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands."

"""Was that lightning?"" No... they're taking pictures for google earth."

"Yo mama so fat... ... slapping her belly causes gravitational waves. OR ... every step she takes causes a ripple in special relativity."