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Joke of the Day

"The thing I love most about dad jokes... ...is how they keep pushing the boundaries of humour father and father."

"You know what they said about the year old sheep that kept getting into trouble... ...he was a mutton for punishment."

"Someone said that my kid would probably grow up to be president, and I'm not sure if it was meant as a compliment or an insult."

"Santa hates penguins True fact. Santa hates penguins. In truth, they are polar opposites."

"My daughter wants a pony and my wife wants a new dishwasher, so I'm compromising and buying them a goat."

"God I hate these crossword puzzles Does anyone know a 3 letter word for ""Father""?"

"How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one :("

"MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE"

"Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins."

"I wonder which woman said..... ""yep I'm gonna put it in my mouth and see what happens."""