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Joke of the Day

"I got in line behind an old classmate of mine while vacationing at Disney World... I said ""Wow, it's a small world!"" She said, ""actually this is Pirates of the Caribbean."""

"What is a NYC nanosecond? If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green."

"What did King Trident say when he stepped in the whale poop? OH CARP!!!"

"Do you ever think about the Vice President... ...sitting at his desk, looking around his office and thinking to himself, ""Fucking corners."""

"Apparently someone in Detroit gets stabbed every 3 minutes. Poor bastard."

"I used to always ask my mom for things & she'd say ""what's the magic word"" and I'd say ""abracadabra"" and she'd say ""you're why dad left."""

"Is it still illegal to run someone over with your car if they're wearing camouflage?"

"The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. 'Nothing' reversed is 'Gnihton' which also means nothing"

"Why was the sea snail sad? Because it was abalonely"

"So apparently Adrian Peterson is trying out for Major League Baseball teams... A lot of teams like that he is a switch hitter..."