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Joke of the Day

"If you care about someone, even a little bit. I beg of you. Please. TELL THEM WHEN THEY HAVE SOMETHING IN THEIR TEETH."

"Damn, girl... Are you a Pokemon? Cause I wanna make your vulva sore."

"What did the lady archaeologist say I have a ""bone"" to pick with you"

"Spider-Man Spider-Man Does whatever a spider can Spins a web Any size Catches thieves Eats those guys Hey wait Don't do that Spider-Man"

"Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal? He wasn't cut out for this."

"I spent the past 2 years looking for my girlfriend's killer But no one will do it"

"My wife and I switched positions to make our night more exciting last night... so she sat on the couch and I washed dishes."

"Called my mum to tell her I was stuck in a rut. She yells that life is tough, get on with it & hangs up. I'm now waiting on a tow truck."

"The ocean isn't shark-infested. It's the ocean. That's where sharks live. We aren't supposed to be there. Humans infest the ocean."

"[job interview] ""What's your greatest weakness?"" I'm always hungry ""That's not what I-"" *takes out a cake* Also, I don't like to share"