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Joke of the Day

"Just overheard a construction worker in NYC very angrily say ""there's no way to make brown rice taste good by itself."""

"Boy are people gonna be upset when they find out the God Particle is black..."

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? Its ass."

"Yo momma is like cheap laundry detergent Not as soft, doesn't smell as good, but gets way more loads"

"A bird in the hand is worth nothing and is probably giving you duck AIDS. Put it back."

"We have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime."

"I secretly replaced my husbands coffee with the empty toilet paper roll he left in the bathroom. Let's see if he notices."

"How do you get a Warriors fan to stop masturbating? Paint his dick Cavaliers maroon and yellow."

"I'm already getting anxious over Christmas due to my Santa Claustrophobia-the fear of being smothered in an elevator by a crowd of Santas."

"I wonder what will be bigger The video games of the future or the average Tumblr user"