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Joke of the Day

"I really need to find a boyfriend. Guy at poker table was like ""This is my girlfriend, Kayla,"" and I was like, ""This is my sandwich, Ham."""

"You'll get this gun when you pry it out of my cold dead ow hey give that back"

"What's a horny pirates worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty"

"What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank!"

"what type of meat does the pope eat? nun"

"Trump will be President until 2020 It would have been 20:15, but the sniper got stuck in traffic..."

"At my funeral I want a magician to saw my coffin in half or I'm not going."

"What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window? ""Looks like rein dear"""

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogey in it"

"After I finish a sentence say, ""I'm a man."" You go to the bar and think to yourself."