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Joke of the Day

"saw guy at the store hand his gf some ""cutie"" oranges and say ""youre the real cutie."" i went to the bedding aisle and screamed into a pillow"

"I like my coffee like my women... Piping hot and all over my lap in the McDonald's drive thru (backs away very slowly, opens door without turning around, lurks out...)"

"A wizard is driving down a road and he turns in to a driveway."

"I'd make a political joke... But it's too soon, the DNC tried to force one on all of us and we saw how that went."

"Two parallel lines have so much in common Its a shame that....."

"Watching a Sarah McLachlan concert on TV on a Saturday night. It's funny, this wasn't on my bucket list yet I feel so close to actual death."

"What's the cheapest type of meat? Deer Balls. They're under a buck."

"two pedophiles talking... I was with this girl last night.... how old is she? she is three... YUCK, that walks... sorry"

"FYI: If someone says ""I'm game,"" you can legally shoot them. You should probably check your state and local hunting regulations though."

"I burnt 1200 calories today! I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven."