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Joke of the Day

"GOP Moves To Block Obama From Naming Scalia Successor.... They believe a black president only gets 3/5ths of a term"

"My friend said he wanted to live in a hole I said gopher it"

"Went to see the doctor last week, he gave me 4 months to live,. So I shot him. Today the judge gave me 20 years, problem solved."

"Vagina jokes are not funny! Period."

"Submarines are just hipster boats."

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef strokanoff."

"Last rites? Over my dead body..."

"Insomnia sufferers, look on the bright side. only three more sleeps until christmas."

"How do you know if someone is a socialist? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven I guess I should have put it on aloha setting"