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Joke of the Day

"Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them."

"What do you call a pensioner at a murder trial? A juryatric."

"two pedophiles talking... I was with this girl last night.... how old is she? she is three... YUCK, that walks... sorry"

"Honey, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that the penguin pooped in the bathtub. Wife: ""But we don't *have* a penguin!"" Me: ""And now for the good news...!"""

"What did sushi A say to sushi B? Wassa B."

"My friend told me he wanted to join the Spanish Inquisition the other day. I managed to Torquemada it."

"Why couldn't the choir director figure out whether Alison Brie was alto soprano? Everytime he tried, he was told that she was young and that they tried not to sectionalise her."

"COP: Give back the money you stole ME: Already spent it COP: On what? ME: Karate lessons which [does vague swishes w/ hand] I did not attend"

"Don't kill yourself over a boy, he'll bring another girl to your funeral."

"Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony? He kept getting in everyone's hair."