187978

Joke of the Day

"The only time I want the carpet to match the drapes is when I'm dating a bald headed girl."

"What do you get when you put a bunch of roosters into a compactor? A cock block!"

"Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon? That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees."

"Whats the difference between a dog and a fox? About 8 pints"

"Float like a jellyfish, sting like a jellyfish."

"Just finished my Sexual Violence Prevention and Awareness Training. It was very informative and I feel much safer. Plus I totally raped the quiz at the end, 100%."

"Inkling sounds like a baby octopus"

"I recently became friends with someone from Central Europe We met at a Chess tournament and I've never once beaten him in a game. He's my Czech mate"

"Her: ""Will you still love me if you win 1 million dollars at the lottery?"" Him: ""Of course, baby! But I will miss you..."""

"Never give a baby alcohol unless you want him to go on and on about, ""the blacks."" Racist fucking babies."