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Joke of the Day

"A cop stops a guy for speeding and he tells him:"" I had a feeling I'll give a fine today, so I waited for you here all day ."" ""Sorry , but I came as fast as I could!"""

"It's not condescending if they're stupid."

"I hear people complaining about their jobs a lot, well I'm a nurse and I touched six dicks yesterday And it was my day off"

"What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear? White Vans."

"Success is just like being pregnant."

"911 what is your emergency? Me: ""My 6 year old hasn't stopped talking since he got home"" 911: ""stay calm ma.. Me: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING"

"If there was a way to read a woman's mind...I'm still not sure I'd want too...I hate shoes, shopping, gossip & I already know I'm annoying."

"First time I saw a dry erase board I said thats ""remarkable"""

"""please human with me"" - bear"

"Pranks I think pranks are incredibly immature. They're such a childish way to interact with your friends and family. Why would anyone...lol jk! Gotcha, I love pranks!"