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Joke of the Day

"Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket."

"""Something's keeping me from masturbating,"" the young woman confided to her doctor. ""I can't quite put my finger on it."""

"What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both live underground, **except for the eagle.**"

"Here's one for you 369"

"I learned about being sad from my dad. He's kind of a lamentor to me."

"Reddit is like a newspaper... ...all of the headlines happened yesterday."

"What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain? A *smaugasbord*."

"Two Grandma's Are Walking Down The Street... One says to the other 'My chest is tight, and I feel heavy'. The other one replies 'That's because you're standing on your left titty.'."

"How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick? cause their cars are always Stalin"

"Why do they call boats ""she""? Because the wives had to get on board somehow."