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Joke of the Day
"How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick? cause their cars are always Stalin"
Next Joke
"Me: *gets all four daughters dressed* Wife: I want everyone in Christmas dresses. Me: But- Wife: Everyone. Me: Fine. *puts on my dress*"
"What did Cinderella say when she got down to the ball? Mmmrrggglllrrsllurp"
"Im opening a DIY whorehouse. It's called ""Go fuck yourself""."
"Did you know that if you laid the entirety of my intestines out in a straight line you'd likely be incarcerated for many years?"
"There is a button on my microwave that says ""super clown"" and I do not ever push that button"
"What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet!!"
"Helen Keller walks into a bar... Don't laugh! You would too if you couldn't see or hear."
"My son fell of the couch and said ""I broke my butt!"" So I said ""I get some super glue to fix it."" He said ""ya but it already had a Crack in it!"""
"If bank website ads have taught me anything it's that white people love drinking coffee as they pay bills online in an empty loft apartment."