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Joke of the Day

"Girls have their phone nonstop. So if they don't text you back within 30 minutes, she ain't feeling you bro."

"What does a duck like to have for breakfast? Quacker Oats"

"Two vegans get in an argument They now have beef"

"60% of my day is spent quickly closing non work-related browser windows when my boss walks by."

"My husband doesn't like it when I say we are ""married"" with quotation marks."

"Him: Hey, you really think that doing all those shots are going to make you forget that you got fired? Me: I got fired?"

"This fat hate on reddit has been ridiculous lately. Come on, give them a break. They have enough on their plates already."

"Before you say you ""value my opinion,"" just know if a genie granted me 3 wishes, one of them would be to star in Sister Act 3."

"How do you split Rome in half? You use a pair of caesars."

"Imagine how trendy the clothes are at New Navy."