23491

Joke of the Day

"Two vegans get in an argument They now have beef"

"what gets uglier the more you watch it? yo momma stripping"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see why /r/jokes is screwing in lightbulbs"

"TIFU by climbing into a German U-Boat Whoops. Wrong sub."

"What do a redneck and hippie have in common? They both hate the government."

"On the Wikipedia page for List of Serial Killers by Number of Victims it says ""This page is incomplete. You can help by expanding it."" Omg."

"Dad got me the other day... Me: I can't sleep... I'm just going to stay up for a bit... Dad: What do you mean you can't sleep? It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*"

"Kim on FB needs help deciding if the snot in her kid's nose is from allergies or not. His Dr. says yes, but she really needs your opinion."

"""Wanna see a movie?"" ""Can't. Don't exist yet."" ""Shit."" (1700s)"

"I swallow at least one note per meal that says ""we're all really proud of you,"" in case the person who does my autopsy is having a bad day."