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Joke of the Day
"how are women like a quantum computer? they are both turned on and off by you at the same time."
Next Joke
"""Those who can't do, teach..."" And those who can't teach... [teach gym.](/spoiler)"
"A neutron walks into a bar... He sits down and orders a drink. When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, ""How much?"" The Bartender says, ""For you? No charge."""
"I don't have to put up with this, I'm a grown ass man ... I used to be an adolescent ass man; I've never wavered in a T&A debate."
"Ke$ha is what would happen if a garbage can came to life."
"What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes? A LexiCon"
"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, ""Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"", says the parrot."
"Choose your facebook profile pic carefully. It'll be the one they use when you go missing."
"How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket"
"I deliberately mispronounce 'quinoa' and then adjust the server's tip according to how condescending they are when they correct me."