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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they just beat the room for being black"

"What kind of computer is optimized for sad songs? A Dell."

"*Ouija board begins spelling* H-A-V-E_S-O-M-E ""Ooooh, spooky"" G-R-A-N-D-C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N ""Dammit Grandma, haunt someone else"""

"Did you hear about the Native American who tried to drink 200 cups of tea? He nearly drowned in his own tea pee"

"Can February march? No, but April may."

"What's worse than watching your brother do a double barrel roll over 15 cars on a motorbike? Having to watch him do a half barrel roll over 8 of them. R.I.P. Bobby. Never forget."

"If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet."

"5 years ago when 'House of Cards' started we said, 'That's so scary.' Now Trump is here and we're like, 'hahaha, House of Cards is adorable'"

"What is OJ Simpson's password on his computer? Slash, slash, backslash, escape."

"What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning? A midnight snack A hot Breakfast"