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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a gay geologist? Substrate."
Next Joke
"Q: What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!"
"What's Beethoven up to these days? Decomposing"
"You guys should see the look on these haters' faces as I scoot through CVS with two Roombas strapped to my feet."
"How do you comfort a grammar nazi? Their, they're, there."
"Bugs Bunny turns 75 today. Now when he says ""What's up, Doc?"" he's legitimately concerned."
"A public restroom I was in had a sign that said ""Flush toilet paper only"" and I just thought Well, shit"
"Why did Princess Di cross the road? Interia"
"How'd you get a black eye? Walked into a door. [Later, another shiner] More doors? *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors."
"[is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] ""do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."""