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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone on the borderline of being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder? An asylum seeker."

"What would you call an additional day added to the week? Sumday"

"Alderaan whoa this blew up"

"One time I got so nervous when a guy took off his pants in front of me I said ""friggity diggity"" please do not rt"

"*wife sees me grab emergency kit from trunk after getting a flat tire* calm down brent just call a tow tru*I'm already shooting flare gun*"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on Mars? ....The food was great, but there was no atmosphere."

"Dear Facebook friend that posts inspirational quotes, your inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you"

"What's the difference between feminism and Islam? One is demonized by the actions and beliefs of a small minority. The other believes in the wage gap myth."

"I like my coffee like I like my women ... Hot, wet, and all over my crotch."

"The best way to get the woman of your dreams is to comment ""gorgeous"" on a minimum of 52 of her selfies."