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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common? A: Neither one is very bright."

"How many Apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one... but it takes a shitload of light bulbs."

"*runs into coworker at store* *pretends I don't speak English*"

"What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? A-tyre"

"A man learned that every time he reposted a joke on Reddit, he gained a year to live. He was already immortal."

"Q: How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House? A: There is White-out on the screen."

"Gross I like my pussy like I like my steak... Pink and bloody. I'm so sorry. My friends are twisted."

"I like my men like I like my coffee shops. Clean. Smells nice. Free wi-fi."

"If someone doesn't stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it's totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by."

"When the instructions say so easy a child could do it, I assume you mean one of those genius 12-year-olds who double major at MIT."