195039

Joke of the Day

"If someone doesn't stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it's totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by."

"I enjoy rating countries on a 0-10 scale I give Nepal a solid 7.8. The score is so high, it's ground breaking"

"What do you call an astronaut who loves himself? A NASAccist!"

"If a gay guy jumps on your back... do you leave him there, or do you beat him off?"

"If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to ""Widowed"", it's time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible."

"""You're better than that"" is almost never true"

"*watching a cop walk past during drug deal* ok relax, just be cool.. ""bonjour mademoiselle how much of le methamphetamine dost thou fancy"""

"What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Anyone can roast beef."

"what idiot called it a fly swatter and not a splatula?"

"The reason Santa is so Jolly? Is it because he knows where all the BAD girls live?"