18773

Joke of the Day

"'Come over,' she begged. 'I need you right now!' 'Just turn it off and on again,' he sighed. He hated these late night rebooty calls."

"Looks like the heavy bag of sirloins fell off the top shelf, landing on the butchers head, and killing him. Looks like the steaks *shades* were too high. YEAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Great Scot, Marty! You know what you'd get if I locked myself in a room with the old-me from 1955 and convinced my other self never to build a time machine? A paradox, Marty!"

"Marriage is like fruit Honeydew this, Honeydew that..."

"What kind of superhero would Caitlyn Jenner be? An Ex-Man."

"When you run out of milk from a cow you move to the UDDER one."

"Which US national park is most welcoming to Hebrews? Yosemite!"

"A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, ""Five beers please."""

"Writing Tip: Learn the letters. YES all of them. Regardless of what you write they'll come in handy. Try experimenting w/ diff combinations."

"You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak."