187697

Joke of the Day

"What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist."

"My excitement about your Indian food is largely dependent on your pronunciation of ""cumin""."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cart has claws at the end of its paws. A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. Edit: spelling"

"After viewing The Aristocrats, What are Redditors version of this joke. Surely this place can come up with some pretty dirty shit for this one."

"Joke: What does it imply when a tick is found on a vagina? That you may have to pull out. Just wanted to ask whether this is a keeper."

"A philosopher says to the linguist... ""What if, instead of periods, woman had apostrophes?"" The linguist replied, ""They'd be more possessive and have more frequent contractions."""

"Why are there no casinos in China? Because the Chinese don't like Tibet..."

"A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood"

"*A group of cannibals eating a pie* This is amazing, what did you do different? ""Well, I used fresh Barry's"""

"If your phone fell in a toilet, you would... 1995: ...leave it, toilets are gross Today: [wrist-deep in urine] BRING ME A BOWL OF RICE NOW"