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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other needs oinkment"

"Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it."

"A crime boss works part time selling grass to people in his home city... I went over to his shop and asked if I could help him with his sales. He told me to stay off his turf."

"Two deer walk out of a bar. One turns to the other in disgust and says, ""I can't believe you blew 20 bucks in there."""

"Occasionally I like to stroll into a bank, pull a gun, shout ""Everybody be cool!"" and then hand out sunglasses and leather jackets."

"When you're alone in your room, start doing karate so ghosts know what's up."

"What do you call a red-head that works at a bakery? A ginger bread man."

"The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about."

"What are people in motels doing that they need such a steady and reliable source of ice?"

"5: let's play the quiet game. Me: Okay 5: ready..? Start. Me: 5: Me: 5: whoever talks first is the loser."